Navigating the Holidays With an Eating Disorder

It’s that time of year again. The winter holidays are here and they come with a lot of mixed feelings. For some, this time is a joyful celebration of family and friends, honoring traditions and enjoying the holiday spirit. For others, it can be a time full of stress and anxiety about what the food situation will be like and what food- or body-related comments might be made.

For many people with an eating disorder, the holidays can be a particularly difficult time to navigate. Gatherings where there is an abundance of food options, comments from others around their new diet or New Year's fitness resolution, and the pressure to dress up for group photos - all of which drives the eating disorder to further dig its heels in and take control. These scenarios, and likely many more, cause great anxiety for the ED: so many unknown food options, potentially triggering comments left and right, general lack of control over the events or structure of the day. Friends and loved ones that are supportive and understanding, and those who have no idea when someone is silently struggling.

We understand how challenging the holidays are for many people, and wanted to share several supportive suggestions and strategies for success to help folks navigate these situations.

1. Make sure to eat regularly the day of the event

The ED voice might say you need to engage in behaviors to "make up for" what you will be eating later. Remember, food is never earned - you deserve to have your nutrition needs met each day, regardless of the food options available, quantity of food consumed, or how you feel about your body. Eating regularly leading up to the event not only allows us to stay adequately nourished (our bodies need fuel every 2-3 hours!), but also helps us stay more in tune with our hunger and fullness cues throughout the day. If we show up to the event hungry, this may lead to eating past the point of satisfaction and potentially some stomach discomfort.

2. Wear an outfit you feel comfortable in

Whether it's a family gathering or party with friends, it's likely that photos will be taken to commemorate the occasion. Rather than worry about how you will look in a particular outfit (that might not even be comfortable!), choose something that you feel good in. Not only will this physically feel better as the event goes on, but it will help foster self-confidence and positive body-image. No matter what anyone else is wearing, remember: all bodies are good bodies!

3. Make a plan ahead of time

Nothing gives the ED more wiggle room than an eating opportunity without structure. Stay in control of your recovery by going into the event with an eating plan - whether it is according to your individualized meal plan, created by a Registered Dietitian, or a general idea based on foods you enjoy and make you feel good. More often than not, there will be foods from a variety of food groups available: carbohydrates, proteins, fats, fruits or vegetables, and desserts. Including all of them on your plate will help keep you satisfied, give good energy, and allow you to normalize many different foods!

4. Reframe ED thoughts as they come up

When an eating disorder thought creeps into your mind, practice thought reframing by rewriting the negative or judgmental thought into something that is either positive or neutral. This helps train our brain to view things differently next time, and minimizes negative self-talk.

Examples:

• "This food will make me gain weight if I eat it." -- "Holidays are a fun time to try a variety of new foods. No one food will lead to weight gain."

• "I ate too much at the party. I hate myself." -- "My body knows how to handle nutrition. This physical discomfort will pass in time. I don't have to eat perfectly, I just have to try my best."

• *Overhearing others talk about diets, disordered eating behaviors, excessive exercise, etc.* -- "I can and should set a boundary around these topics, as they are not helpful to me in my recovery at this time. I can't control what others do or say. I can only control my own actions and reactions."

5. Utilize support

It can be helpful to go into holiday events with the support of a family member, loved one, outpatient provider, or recovery hotline phone number. Knowing there is someone safe, understanding, and kind who will be there if you are struggling with behaviors or eating disorder thoughts can be vital. No one should struggle in silence. Just like figuring out your eating plan for the event, think of distractions or therapeutic skills that can help navigate urges or negative thoughts that may come up during or after meals. Have a conversation with people around you, or do a group activity following the meal. Having something to take your mind off eating helps distract you from ED thoughts and urges, and allows you to be more present in the moment with friends and family.

Feel free to leave a comment below if you have tried any of these or if there is a beneficial holiday strategy that works for you!

Article written by Inna Kagan, MS, RDN, LDN